Ok, today I’ve got a pretty unusual blog entry. If you’re German and interested in computer games, then maybe you have read this ETQW review. If not, well, it’s a shame because you have possibly missed one very biased review that really shows gaming journalism at its best. Of course, I’m not and can’t be totally unbiased about the game, but see for yourself.

I’ve taken the freedom to actually translate the whole article into English, so that the non-German speaking folks can enjoy this masterpiece of penmanship, too. It’s not so much about the style though (because that surely was mostly lost in my translation), but about obvious mistakes and unfair reviewing… Enjoy!

(Oh before I forget it, this text is my very own translation, so while I’ve tried my best to preserve the semantics, I might have failed and maybe accidentally removed some errors - also credits and kudos for this goes to our beloved GameStar and its writers… so if you don’t like the translation it’s all their fault :))

So how many errors did you find?

Cheers,
BlackHC

Enemy Territory: Quake Wars

Splash Damage(sic) mixes the complexity of Battlefield 2 with the pace of Quake - and doesn’t satisfy either of the two fan bases with it.

If you crossbreed a horse with a donkey, you get a mule - a quadruped, that has the advantages of both parents, because it is can be used as pack animal as well as a mount. If you crossbreed Battlefield with Quake, you get Enemy Territory: Quake Wars - a multiplayer shooter, that has the advantages of both parents, because.. Wait a second, exactly not! Because Splash Damage’s attempt to merge two different multiplayer games with obviously different kinds of gaming experience has only been partially successful. And this disastrous crossbreeding is not the only issue the game is having.

The plot: slim

The developers didn’t hold themselves up with an extensive background plot: The alien Strogg attack mankind and spawn conflicts all round the world. Similar to Battlefield each of the twelve maps tells a small bit of the story of the bigger conflict. Hence in “Valley” you have to keep the Strogg from contaminating the drinking water supplies of the American West coast. In “Island” the human forces have to shoot their way through a marvelous beach to the enemy base, steal important data and escape. And “Slipgate” sends you to a small African village, where you have to hack a Strogg slipgate and suddenly arrive at the opposite end of the world (see the box with the “example mission”).

In doing so primarily the level design is convincing. The maps are diverse and some are spectacularly built - surprising what the developers could get out of the three years old Doom 3 graphics framework. Even more surprising that of all things all the interiors (you would think one of the engine’s strengths) are designed rather dully, textured unsightly and lit weakly.

The heroes: plump

No multiplayer shooter without classes. Quake Wars is no exception here. And has no surprises: The Soldier of the GDF and the Aggressor of the Strogg take heavy equipment into the battle, the Medic/Technician heal wounded teammates, the Engineer/Constructor repair damaged vehicles, the Field Ops/Oppressor deploy turrets[sic!] on the battlefield and the Covert Ops/Infiltrator shoot around with high precision weapons. Sounds like a system designed for teamwork, but it has issues because of design quirks. For instance you normally don’t need a medic, because its faster to wait for respawn instead for the rescuing defibrillator.

Because the team isn’t punished for the death of a teammate with a deduction of points, there are hardly any heroic medics on the battlefield. The Field Ops of the GDF who helps his teammates with ammunition packs is also only of limited use for teamplay because you die very fast in combat as usual for quake games and thus you’ll rarely run out of bullets anyway. While we’re talking about dying: We would have appreciated more feedback about the origin of the final shot, too. It happens too seldom that you know why you’re suddenly lying on the ground.

The missions: cool

The only sensible use for the classes are the cool missions that you need to complete in the course of a round. For instance only the sniper can hack a shield generator. This is necessary in “Valley” where a mobile command post (MCP) will only fire its missile at the Stroog base when the latter isn’t protected by a shield anymore. To get the MCP into position, an engineer should be present to repair the defenseless machine after it has been damaged by enemy fire.

This idea distinguishes Quake Wars from the usual flag capturing of a Battlefield 2 and pleasantly concentrates the action onto the currently important area of the map. In the process the developers have now and then overshot the mark. If for example the Strogg try to defend the branched tube system in “Sewer”, 32 players race around shooting at each other - not a bit of tactis or teamwork in there.

The weapons: not cool

Quake Wars has everything from a machine rifle over a shotgun and a nailgun to the legendary railgun that should keep Quake fans happy. But the awesome weapon balancing of the original is painfully missing though. If you are playing as a Strogg for example and try to shoot through your scope, the zoom is pixelating everything for a moment before the view becomes clear again. In a fast paced game like Quake Wars this often already causes death. Generally all Strogg weapons seem weaker than their GDF counterparts. The railgun of the Infiltrator for example has a stronger recoil than the sniper rifle of the Covert Ops.

A hint of tactics is creates by the extras: Especially the freely placeable and rotatable turrets are fun, particularly since some of them trigger super weapons like the ion laser[sic]. On the other hand lots of it is really uselss: The stationary camera for example was never needed because it doesn’t have any advantages except for the small reconnaissance area and it takes too long to deploy. The mines are likewise only of limited use because you have to place them first and then activate them. In a game like Battlefield that tries to be realistic this would be sensible but in Quake Wars it doesn’t suit the high speed of the game.

The vehicles: fast

On most of the maps a variety of land and air vehicles is available - from the unarmed but incredibly fast Quad to the Cyclops, a heavy armored Strogg mech. From outside all the vehicles look worse than in Battlefield 2. When you enter them though, you get to see the nicest cockpits of the genre. The driving experience is ok, too. The only exception is the tank of the GDF, whose mass you don’t notice because of the mediocre game physics and the fact that is tossed around like a rubber ball, when it explodes.

Apropos explosions: Especially on maps with lots of vehicles an exceellent combat experience is created. Debris is falling from sky, vehicles are exploding and it’s cracking and Banging everywhere. A bit more work on the effects would have been nice though - the explosions look flat and hardly spectacular.

Score:

General Conclusion: Although we miss the teamplay experience, the online battles are still fun.

Rating:

Graphics:
+ sharp textures
+ incredible view distance
+ good animations
- partly sparsely detailed landscape
- moderate effects
- frame cap
8/10

Sound:
+ cracking explosions
+ good English voice actors
- bad German voice actors
- partly dull weapon sounds
8/10

Balance
+ maps are mostly balanced well
- unfair bottlenecks
- Strogg are a bit weaker than GDF
6/10

Atmosphere
+ nice battle atmosphere
+ gloomy end time scenario
- teamwork experience is hardly building up
- radio messages get annoying after some time
7/10

User Interface
+ intuitive shooter controls
+ well arranged server browser
+ useful command map
- fiddly quick chat
9/10

Game Content
+ 12 partly big maps
+ 3 game modes
+ 5 classes
+ numerous gameplay options
10/10

Level Design
+ very diverse
+ infantry and vehicle maps
+ pretty realistic settings
- dull interiors
9/10

Teamwork
+ different missions for different classes
- help is not rewarded
- Medic/Technician and Field Ops/Oppressor are only of limited use
5/10

Weapons & Extras
+ big weapon selection for every need
+ cool turrets
+ popular Quake weapons
- some extras are useless
9/10

Multiplayer Modes
+ more thrilling than usual flag capturing
+ difficult tasks
- only stopwatch mode interesting for online matches

Conclusion: Action-filled online shooting without teamplay experience (79%)